Sicilian Culture

The People, The History, The Culture

Sicilian Culture: Some Humor

How much of an Eye-talian (Italian) are you??
1. You are 5' 4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and still cry when your mother yells at you.
2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two mortadella sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag.
3. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
4. You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast.
5. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have two kitchens (one in the basement).
6. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
7. A high school diploma and one year of community college has earned you the title of "professore! " among your aunts.
8. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
9. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
10. If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
11. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
12. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

You REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
Christmas Eve...only fish.
Have a gold chain, cross and your horn.
You have a stupid nickname.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
Favorite movies: Godfather/Goodfellas/Bronx Tale/Moonstruck/Scarface
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Plastic on the furniture is normal.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti". And it's gravy, not sauce.
You've called someone a "mamaluke".
You own a pinky ring.
And you understand "bada bing"


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